bad headlines... and some for comic relief!

I really enjoyed the headlines listed below, from actual news sources (found on website: http://english.glendale.cc.ca.us/badheds.html). One thing I noticed is that legal jargon tends to trip up headline writers--appeal, case in just a few of these--because words that have a very specific connotation in legal terms have every day meanings that are quite different.
Another problem with a lot of these headlines that makes them so hilarious is the confusion over subject. With headlines, leaving out an "it" or unclear terms means that the reader is confused about who did what to whom. My favorite is "Enraged cow injures farmer with ax." Obviously, the farmer had the ax, but because there are so few words in the headline, it seems like the cow has the ax. I worked at a dairy once, and let me tell you, the last thing you want is an angry cow armed with an ax!

In terms of my headline, I found a headline from my hometown newspaper, the Lexington Minuteman, from September 13:

Word-renowed pianist at Hancock Church

Come on, Minuteman, that's an embarassing typo. (The reason I kept this paper was the police log: A woman reported that her vehicle was damaged while parked near the skate park. Her car, a hatchback, had a dent in the rear door that may have been caused by a watermelon. That police entry deserves a story!!!)

So here's a list of bad headlines, courtesy of http://english.glendale.cc.ca.us/badheds.html:

Something went wrongin jet crash, expert says

Police begin campaignto run down jaywalkers

Safety experts say school buspassengers should be belted

Drunk gets nine months in violin case

Survivor of siamese twins joins parents

Farmer Bill dies in house

Iraqi head seeks arms

Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?

Stud tires out

Prostitutes appeal to Pope

Panda mating fails;Veterinarian takes over

Soviet virgin landsshort of goal again

British left waffleson Falkland Islands

Eye drops off shelf

Teacher strikes idle kids

Reagan wins on budget,but more lies ahead

Squad helps dog bite victim

Enraged cow injures farmer with ax

Plane too close to ground, crash probe told

Miners refuse to work after death

Juvenile court to try shooting defendant

Stolen painting found by tree

Two soviet ships collide, one dies

2 sisters reunited after18 years in checkout counter

Killer sentenced to die forsecond time in 10 years

Never withhold herpes infection from loved one

Drunken drivers paid $1000 in '84

War dims hope for peace

If strike isn't settled quickly,it may last a while

Cold wave linked to temperatures

Enfiels couple slain; Police suspect homicide

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